Dec 3rd...yesterday i wanted to kill myself. Really...
I decided not to take the plunge because i could only do it by over dosing on pills and i have nothing like that available to me. Also, i dont want my dogs to go to the shelter. So, after an hour i realized that i just couldnt do it. I have to deal with all the stupid ass shit here and try...ugh, i really dont want to try. I just want to give up. Everything seems too hard.
Well, anyway. I have decided that I am going to walk the dogs every day, actually twice a day. Morning and night. I have also decided that I can do 120 days of dieting. Might as well...i got nothing else to do. Turns out that I have lost 10 pounds and dont qualify for gastric bypass surgery anymore...boo...by the time i get all my insurance shit strait Ill be in my 40s anyway...ugh...long story there.
So, walking the dogs everyday, morning and night. Eating better (btw im totally broke, so eating less shouldnt be a problem) and maybe even working out here at home every once in a while. In 120 days I should be close to 200 pounds...wow that would be wonderful!
On my way to the store to pick up some food...havent eaten all day, probably not a good start. Oh well...
Oh, I am also going to try to start blogging every day, about my progress, my emotional state, just everything...heck its only 119 days right?
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